Having No Choice In Caregiving Has Serious Repercussions

Most guides talk about how to be a better caregiver. Fewer talk about how it feels when the role chooses you. More than half of family caregivers in 2025 say they had no choice in taking on the role. That lack of choice shows up in health, purpose, and support.

What The Data Says Based on the amazing and latest a joint report by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC), Caregivers who felt they had no choice report more strain on body and mind.

Outcome	No choice in becoming a caregiver	Had a choice
Poor physical health days (per month)	5.8	4.6
Poor mental health days (per month)	8.0	4.5
Days health limited usual activities (per month)	4.6	3.2
Say they find purpose in the role	42%	62%
Have unpaid help	51%	56%
Feel isolated	34%	12%

Caregivers who had no choice but to be one, report more days when their body does not feel good, more days when mood or worry is a problem, and more days when health issues get in the way of normal routines. They also report less sense of meaning in the role. Their support network is thinner. They are less likely to have unpaid help from family or friends, and they are much more likely to feel alone.

Caregivers who felt they had a choice show the opposite pattern. They report fewer tough health days, more purpose in the role, slightly more unpaid help, and less isolation.

The Reasons Behind The Data

Unplanned tasks crowd out sleep, exercise, and their own medical care, while physically demanding duties and late night needs add strain. Money and work pressures can pile on, and the mix of worry, guilt, and grief makes it harder to focus or keep up with routines. Without time to prepare or learn skills, everyday care takes longer and more days feel disrupted. Support also tends to be thinner when the role begins by default. People may assume the primary caregiver will keep doing everything, and it can be hard to ask for help. Fatigue and privacy concerns then lead to fewer social plans, which increases isolation and lowers a sense of purpose. By contrast, caregivers who felt they had a choice are more likely to have planned ahead, tapped community or faith networks, and set up breaks, which protects health and makes meaning easier to find.

What Can Caregivers Without A Choice Do? Start by naming what you can control. Small choices help rebuild a sense of agency. Examples include setting a regular time for calls, picking one task to delegate each week, and scheduling a short break on the calendar. The report also shows what helps most: access to respite services, a professional assessment of caregiver needs, and practical emotional support. Ask local programs for these specific supports since they are the ones caregivers say they value. If the role did not feel like a choice, you are not alone and there are steps that can help. More support, more small decisions you control, and less isolation can move the needle on how you feel month to month.